Friday, November 02, 2007

The Cruel Life of a Ghetto-Bot

So, for Halloween I was a ghetto robot, more commonly know as robotius ghettosium, or Ghetto-Bot:
"How greatly awesome!", you might say. Or, "Matt, you must have caused a real 'to do' with your costume." While those comments are mostly true, here's the cruel reality:
"But Matt" you interject, "Surely being a Ghetto-Bot would only bring about adoration and power, so what part of that reality could possibly be cruel?"

I'll tell you - Those cursed ski boots.

As we all know, ski boots are an integral, nay, an absolutely necessary ingredient to becoming a GB, right?. But it's a double-edged sword that comes with a hefty price. Yes, wearing ski boots will make you walk like a robot. But read that last sentence again. I wrote the word "make" in italics to give it emphasis. Why? Because wearing ski boots will cause your walt to be robotic by squeezing all of the good feelings out of your feet, leaving only pain, robot pain.

Take a look at the picture again. What do you notice? I sure look at ease, don't I? Like there's not a care in the world? Call me the king of deception because I have deceived you. I was not at ease, I was in agony. The best way to describe it was it was as if my feet where being killed by metal boa-constrictors. It felt like I woke up and said, I need new shoes, but instead of going to a shoe store I went and got fitted for a tight pair of beartraps.

It's funny though, the relief I felt when I got home and released my feet from their bindings made It all worth it.

5 comments:

Aaron said...

You are a wierdo. -But a dang funny one at that!

Jeff B said...

Nice... Did you see our new blog of blogs?

Jeff B said...

Thanks for your comments Matt! It's good to know you care. I feel like this would a great story to write together!

Talm said...

Did you get your idea from all the ghetto droids that Luke finds in that big metal ship on Tatooine at the beginning of A new hope? I think I remember one of those being a guy in a garbage can with leg holes cut out wearing rubber tubes for pants.

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